The
day we met Andre, we sat in the director's office and he told us
Andre's history. He knew A LOT about his birth family, many personal
details. Andre was a planned baby. His birth parents were wonderful
people. Unfortunately, as many of us could never fathom, in the
society in which he was born, they could not take care of him. It is
not their fault. It is just the way it us in Ukraine as well as many
Eastern European countries. They did the best they knew they could
and gave him up for adoption. Then they prayed that a family would
find him.
I
have had their names since we had court, as their names are in our
documents. Shortly after we came home, I googled and found them. In
fact, it was one of the nights when I was in the hospital with Silas
when he was admitted upon coming home. I did not contact for a while.
I was scared. I had heard other stories from adoptive families that
when they attempted contact, it went sour. I had also heard beautiful
stories of families that keep in touch through emails and even Skype.
So, over the summer I went for it and messaged his birth mother.
She
took a while to respond, but eventually did. And her response was the
most beautiful response that I could have ever hoped for. She
explained that it took her so long because it was very emotional for
her and she wanted to respond appropriately. She explained that she
loved Andre very much. She knew of the adoption and was so very
thankful that we adopted him. She was happy to see pictures of him
smiling, happy and healthy. Here is an excerpt from her first message:
"We are so thankful for your generousity and your decision.
He smiles, he is happy and that was our best hope, since,
unfortunatelly, the society in our country leaves mostly isolation for people, and, what is more painful , for children like Andre and his "brother".
We know that both of them are with you and they are safe and not deprived. We will always love Andrew and keep praying for you, people who give him life in full sense.
One can hardly realise what is sacrificed...Let propitiation find us one day.
We were trying to support Andre and we are so glad that his fate was to meet your family. God bless you."
She
has over and over again expressed her gratitude for us adopting
Andre. She also gave us information that we did not know. It was her
husband and his mother who took Andre, the day after he was born, to
the heart hospital for his first consultation. We knew that she did
support the orphanage financially from the director and she told us
this as well, as she still does so as a sign of gratitude. She
explained that she intentionally did not visit Andre to avoid him
being hurt if and when he was adopted, but did do her best to support
him however she could while keeping her distance.
I
touch base with her every now and then. I know that she is very
emotional about the situation, so I try not to push too much. I would
love for her to be involved in Andre's life as much as possible.
For
his birthday, she wrote a very beautiful message and also included an
amazing gift, the first picture ever taken of Andre, the day after he
was born. I felt so full of joy and cried as I looked upon this
beautiful doll looking baby. He was simply GORGEOUS!!! I could not
believe that she shared something so special with me. I felt honored.
Then as I soaked it all in, I became sad. I felt immense sadness for
her and her husband. This beautiful, sweet baby was in their arms,
they planned for him, they loved him. Yet they had to walk away. I
can not ever imagine the pain they have gone through. They are truly
amazing people and love this little boy with all of their hearts.
From her message:
"First of all we would like to express our heartfelt greetings on occasion of Andre's birthday.
We know that he is happy now with your family, we know that he is loved, we know that his fornute is with you. We wish him be happy, we wish him be healthy. I had a very heartfelt dream to send our words to him with the only special thing I have - his first picture, it was made on 1st february 2009. Happy birthday and very best wishes."
I
wanted to tell this story because so many people jump to conclusions
that all children are abandoned by "dead beat" parents.
This is not the case for Andre. It is the society in which they live
that does not allow them to be able to raise a child with special
needs, even something as simple as Down Syndrome. Therefore parents
must place their children in orphanages and hope that they will be
adopted. This is Andre's story.
His
parents planned him, loved him and did the only thing they knew they
could. It is sad to think that we live in a world where two loving
parents can not raise their own child. My heart aches terribly for
them. Because Andre is such a delight. I promised her that I will
never let them down and Andre will experience the life that he
deserves.And we will keep our promise as well as let Andre know that he is so loved
