Piecing Our Puzzle Together: One year ago today......

Exactly one year ago today, April 27, 2012, I came across Silas' picture on Reece's Rainbow. I had been on the website hundreds of times before. This was the first time I came across Silas' picture. I believe he had been previously removed because it was believed that he had been transferred. Also, RR originally was given the wrong birth year (2004) when he was actually born in 2007. After I saw his picture, I could not stop thinking about him. I thought and prayed a lot over the week that followed before even bringing up the possibility to my husband. was easy to convince him :) It And as you all know, we decided to start the process of adoption. Little did we know of what God had in store for us :)

Today is special for another reason. Five months ago today was also Gotcha Day. I have not posted many pictures from this day, as they are still difficult for me to look at. It was the day that Silas starting having withdrawals from whatever drugs he was on, so every time I look at them I get a flood of emotions that are not at all happy. I start going through every memory of every step of that very day. I hold a lot of anger towards the director for not disclosing this information and for not returning our phone call the following day. It could have been so much worse that what it was. I am also angry with myself for being convinced that he was such a "nice guy" and when Silas was still in the orphanage, a very good friend pointed out that he did, in fact, look drugged. I ignored her and thought that would never happen because he was in a great orphanage. So when I look at those pictures, I think of how scared I was, and even more how terrified Silas must have been. I remember staying online all night with our wonderful stateside coordinator, Nancy, who gave me some tips on how to help him. So, Gotcha Day does not bring fuzzy feelings to my mind. But here are some pics from that very day, early morning, before things turned ugly.