Wednesday, April 30, 2014

The Second Time Around is NOT as Easy .....

This adoption has been very draining. I thought the second time would be easier, boy was I wrong! We have had several delays and wrenches thrown in.

 For one, the FBI seems to be unable to read my fingerprints on a card. They have been sent back twice and now I am being told I will need to pay again to have my check done even though I have never received the background check. It delayed our home study to the point that I paid to just have an electronic check to finish the home study. That is fine for the home study but IF the country we are adopting from implements a mandatory FBI check I am unsure what I will do. Because I will need a hard copy that is apostilled, not an electronic copy.

Fundraising has been difficult and we have had several failed fundraisers. We will have an "Upcycle" fundraiser that just started today that we hope will be successful.  It is recycling your  old cell phones. I will blog more in detail later but if you want to check it out the link is here https://www.causesinternational.com/upcycle/feinland

We have also had some bigger issues regarding the children that we have chosen to adopt. WE will not be bringing either girl home, each for a different reason.

"Della" previously had a family committed to her. A beautiful family; a mother a father and two young boys. I am actually good friends with Jenny, the mother, and they helped us financially start the adoption process for her because they wanted so badly for her to have a family even though they were unable to be that family. The circumstances that forced them to back out of the adoption process are no longer there and they decided they wanted to resume international adoption.

The first time this family was in the process to adopt "Della," they were asked by members of their church to take in a family from Haiti that had been living in a bus. The couple had two young girls. The couple asked them to adopt these girls and left them with the family. The social worker that was completing their home study told them that they did, in fact, have to choose between the two girls in their home and "Della," that they simply could not adopt the girls and "Della." They chose the girls that were in their home, as how could they do anything otherwise? The parents returned two months later and took the girls back for a day then brought them back only to return to take them back. There were other things that happened that prompted this mother to call Child Protection Services. The birth father did not take to this lightly. He threatened to kill this woman, her children and proceeded to go the girls school and threatened to kill the teachers and students because of the on-going investigation. This man is now in jail and the birth mother has custody of the children. This would have been enough to break many of us. But this family is determined to adopt and after grieving for some time, decided to resume adopting internationally.

When I initially found out they intended to resume the process, deep down I knew what the right thing to do would be. But I ignored it. I continued to talk to my friend Jenny and we would even discuss what child she may commit to adopting. I finally started discussing with my husband about if we should offer this family the chance to resume adopting "Della." We discussed. We prayed. We discussed more. I consulted with a few other adoptive mommas who I trust and of course my wonderful facilitator, Nancy. We did decide to offer them the chance for us to step aside to resume the process and of course they accepted. We are happy for them and very at peace with this decision. After all, we know that we will meet this sweet girl and follow her journey coming home and beyond. We will still be able to follow her as she blossoms in a loving family. This was decided some time ago and we were just waiting on them to obtain the proper paperwork that would allow them to commit to her through Reece's Rainbow.

How we lost "Kree" is a completely different story. We received a call from Nancy on Monday that another family that is in country now is adopting her. I cried. I knew that this was possible and had even suspected it a while ago. It has been happening to a lot of families lately.

So now we are feeling a bit lost and are unsure who we will be bringing home. We will take our time with this decision. We appreciate your prayers and support

3 comments:

  1. Praying for you. I can only imagine how difficult it must be.

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  2. Love your heart and willingness to do the hard thing.

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  3. Just wondering if Della has been committed to? Been praying for her for a year now. daneandjessharvey@gmail.com

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